Gloucester fly-half Danny Cipriani says he feels content after “looking within” and controlling his ego, which may have hindered his international ambitions.
The 32-year-old, who won last term’s Premiership Player of the Season award, has not played for England since 2018.
He signed a new contract with Gloucester in April and helped them reach the Premiership semi-finals.
“I’ve had a lot of realisations that have come to me over life,” he told BBC Radio Gloucestershire.
“You’ll be blessed from the lows because, without them, you don’t create the highs. You learn from every one of them. You start feeling a bit more content.
“For me it’s that removal of ego, and talking about it. I’ve been reading books on it for years and trying to fully understand it.
“It’s difficult at times but when you do it’s a very peaceful place to be. That’s what I’m consistently trying to get.”
The former Wasps and Sale Sharks star missed out on England’s World Cup squad this year, after initially being named in Eddie Jones’ pre-tournament training squad.
Asked about his hopes for the future, Cipriani replied: “You’ve always got aspirations but it’s just the intention behind it and, for me, maybe my intention behind playing for England has been wrong.
“It may have been for ego, it might have been for self. Maybe that’s what scared coaches off or made them feel a certain way.
“So that was for me to look within and set my intention in a different way, and that’s to be as great as I can for Gloucester.
“Realisations come to you at different points. If you’re willing to look within and not point the finger. Look at yourself – that’s what I do.”
Gloucester had suffered five straight defeats in the Premiership and in Europe, before Cipriani helped them power past Connacht on Sunday in the Champions Cup.
“We’re in a great position to move forward as a group. We’ve got some great personalities,” he added.
“The great thing about this place is it is a passionate club with passionate fans and there’s a great desire in the coaching staff and the players.
“On Sunday, there was a full collectiveness and a full buy-in from everyone.
“This is a group that wants to learn and get better. There’s a burning desire throughout.”
The Cherry and Whites are away to Connacht in their next Pool Five match on Saturday [kick-off 12:45 GMT].